Fathers Weep in Silence

Father’s Day in Canada falls on the third Sunday of June every year. In 2020, it was observed on Sunday, June 21.

A digital illustration shows the silhouette of a man seated with his head bowed and hand on his forehead, set against abstract mountain shapes. In the background, the faint figures of a woman and child stand together, rendered in softer tones, symbolizing family presence.


They are soft and fragile people, yet in front of their families, they become strong and resolute. Unable to say “I love you” easily, they substitute it with words like “You’re cool.” They are beings of cognitive dissonance—those whose thoughts and actions don’t always align when it comes to loving their families.

At home, they’re gruff and curt, but among friends, they become charming, funny, and approachable. They know too much, so they nag often. Yet, out of the blue, they might show grace, saying they trust you to handle things on your own. The truth is, fathers themselves often don’t know the right way to go. They tell you to live righteously and ethically but also want you to be cunning and shrewd—because that might make life a little easier for the family. Drawing from their own experiences, they cling to outdated ways and preach them. No one really listens. Just because he’s a father. Just because he’s old-fashioned.

On this Father’s Day, I think of my father. He would have been 88 years old now, had he lived. He collapsed near the end of his 59th year, unable to cross that unlucky age. After suffering in a hospital bed for about eight months, he passed away. A father who was not affectionate—or perhaps, one who couldn’t afford to be. I sent him off with a heart equally unkind.

A father’s love blossoms late. All the pride he had to cut away in front of his family, all the joys he longed to enjoy but gave up—they now return vividly to life within me. The more time passes, the deeper and larger they grow in my heart.

Your anguish, your quiet disappointments, your dry tears, your tireless endurance in the face of life—I miss you, Father.


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