Harmony of the Inside, Not the Outside

In human relationships, inner compatibility—rooted in true sustainability—is a more essential element than appearance or sensory attraction. Love may begin with the senses, but I believe it is ultimately sustained by inner strength. 


Two trees stand side by side on a hill bathed in sunset light. Though different in appearance, their roots intertwine underground, forming a single, united system—symbolizing a deep inner connection beyond outward differences.


It’s difficult to precisely define what it means for two people to “go well together” in a relationship. Does it mean their appearances match? If so, we inevitably imagine a handsome man and a beautiful woman.

Looking back on my experiences in my twenties and thirties, I often evaluated a person’s worth based on superficial, sensory satisfaction—qualities that appealed to my tastes or were rooted in material aspects such as social status or wealth.

But what we really need to look deeper into is “inner compatibility.” Inner compatibility cannot be bought or sold, imitated, or decorated. Of course, someone who possesses both sensory appeal and inner compatibility would be ideal—but meeting such a person is an uncommon blessing.

If “sensory satisfaction” is centered around what I need, then “inner compatibility” arises from what we build for each other. Love usually begins with sensory attraction, but for that love to mature and endure, it must be supported by inner strength. The role of a married couple is to cultivate that inner strength together. If they fail to do so, the only alternative is the one-sided sacrifice of one person.

Watching two older, unmarried individuals, I find myself wishing them happiness, yet feeling a cautious concern.


Korean version: https://deposo.tistory.com/104


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